Episode 115: Howard The Duck

howard-the-duck-movie-lea-thompsonIt’s 2016 and celebrity millionaire / ex-reality show host Donald Trump is now the President of The United States. A man who, in 1986, was just a celebrity millionaire rebuilding an long-closed ice skating rink in New York. 1986 was a simpler time and just like 2016 it had it’s fair share of questionable events. To this day, the release of Howard The Duck was one of those events. But who would have thought a movie this “bad” would ever bring us joy when we needed it most. When we watched it we were surprised at how much we enjoyed it. It’s a crazy, balls out absurd movie, that a viewing population could not appreciate at the time. It’s reviled. It’s disgusted. Most don’t care about it. But it’s a charming and unique film that deserves way more credit. It was more fun than we expected. We probably won’t feel this way about Donald Trump 30 years from now. Howard T. Duck 2020.

On the next episode of B Movie Breakdown we continue to skate through 1986 with a movie that is totally Thrashin’!

Download Episode 115: Howard The Duck

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Episode 74.5: Back On April 23rd

wellbebackHey everyone! Sorry this post is late but things have been a little hectic over here at the BMB Headquarters. But fear not faithful listeners we are still here and ready to bring you a whole new batch of wild and whacky episodes of the podcast you know and love. We didn’t plan on taking this week off, but life happens and we had to postpone the recording of Episode 75: The Peanut Butter Situation due to some unforeseen circumstances.  So Corey, Gina, & Ryan will all be back on Wednesday, April 23, 2014 with a brand spanking new episode of B Movie Breakdown. If you want to watch the movie before you listen to Episode 75, you can find the movie in full on YouTube, just search ‘The Peanut Butter Solution.’ This movie, like a lot of them, was requested by a fan of the show; so if you have a movie you would like us to breakdown, let us know!!

Click Here To Download Episode 74.55: Back On April 3rd

Remember every movie we watch is available for streaming on Netflix or YouTube! [Unless we say otherwise]

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Have a suggestion for a movie? Have thoughts on the movie of the week or past movie? Go to our Contact Us page for our e-mail, Twitter, & Facebook.

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Episode 30: Rollerball

Rollerball“Just close your eyes and take the money, okay?” were most likely the words LL Cool J actually advised to Chris Klein following their bending over to take this ass-ramming to their careers in 2002’s repulsive remake, Rollerball. You know you’re in for a bad time when you find out that one of the movie’s own stars slammed it while he was out promoting it. In the dystopian future of 2005, star athlete/adrenaline junkie Jonathan Cross gets recruited by his “high school” buddy Marcus Ridley to compete in Rollerball, a violent hybrid of roller derby, wrestling and lacrosse (sort of) in Russia, Asia and Eastern Europe. Cross has no trouble risking innocent lives land lugeing through city traffic, but draws the line when his team’s owner starts getting his retarded teammate bloodied in violent “accidents” to boost ratings. A scary strip club visit, locker room sex with Rebecca Romijn Lettuce and a horrendous night vision chase through the desert do nothing to make this film entertaining, or even passable, and the best parts are easily Paul Heyman’s game commentary and a worthless cameo by the WWF’s Shane McMahon. But hey, Chris Klein can shield himself from a shotgun blast with a tiny table, so, you know. There’s that.

Download – Episode 30: Rollerball

Next week we’re revisiting one of our favorite horrible TV shows, 1996’s Baywatch Nights – Season 2. We’re watching episode 9, Night Whispers, which is available in full on Youtube here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8WB09lEL2Q In this episode, lifeguard/P.I. Mitch Buchannon and his worthless team of paranormal investigators pursue a strange lady who is obviously a vampire and aspires to be a softcore porn actress. Shit’s about to get real… ly dumb.

Remember every movie we watch is available for streaming on Netflix or YouTube! [Unless we say otherwise]

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Episode 23: Steele Justice

steelejustice9Fuck G.I. Joe 2 – join us this week as we witness true manly heroics with John Steele in 1987’s Steele Justice! The Karate Kid’s Martin Kove turns in a wonderfully wooden performance as the shellshocked Vietnam vet who gives no fucks about the laws of God or man, has a deadly pet snake named 3 Step and trains by doing squats with an unweighted broomstick. When John’s backstabbing nemesis from ‘Nam resurfaces and murders his old war buddy, Steele springs into action. But he isn’t being recruited – he’s being UNLEASHED! (That’s an actual line from the movie! Fucking fantastic!) The resulting chaos is a mashup of every 80s action movie cliché, but taken to a ridiculous, poorly executed extreme. Epic 80s action songs, a music video, and explosions for no reason, plus the added racism of every Asian person knowing martial arts and being evil. After slaughtering all his Asian enemies, Steele is able to ride off into the sunset, shrugging off the laundry list of felonies he’s committed to achieve his victory. But don’t weep for his victims – they’re having donuts with Buddha now.

Download mp3 – Episode 23: Steele Justice

Next week we’re journeying back to 1991 for a forgotten film called Meet the Applegates. Ed Begley Jr. leads his family of giant insects-turned fake humans from the Amazon rain forest to suburban Ohio in a terrorist plot to cause a meltdown at a nuclear power plant and wipe out humanity. But then suburbia’s slump sets in and they all start smoking pot and having sex and forget their whole scheme. Surprisingly, this little gem couldn’t even gross half a million at the box office. This movie is not on Netflix, but is up in 9 parts on Youtube, the first of which is available here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmHBWTKdVEY Get ready for major shit dick this time.

Remember every movie we watch is available for streaming on Netflix or YouTube! [Unless we say otherwise]

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Episode 22: Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie

Turbo-A-Power-Ranger-Movie-tomkat-9166988-1200-805We’re warping back to 1997 with Lerigot’s magical key to fight alongside the Power Rangers in their second big screen adventure, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie. Joining us this week is our old podcasting partner in crime, Dino Punk Nicky Tyranno. This film was a disappointment to anyone with half a brain cell, as Power Rangers’ writers decided to take everything that worked in the first film and flush it down the toilet to give us the most watered-down, pussified non-violent movie about violent superheroes ever. Want to see something awesome like the Oozemen fight? Well fuck you, because instead we get Tommy wrestling with a snake, the Rangers driving boring cars across an empty desert, a ghost ship that isn’t scary and the worst new Ranger ever – little Justin Stewart! When Blue Ranger Rocky suffers a miraculous back injury, Earth’s intergalactic Joseph Kony Zordon decides it’s time to conscript a 12 year old into his millennia-long war. Justin proceeds to ruin everything, acting like a dipshit fanboy that thinks it’s all a game, but why shouldn’t he, when the Rangers are tasked with rescuing “interdimensional wizard” Lerigot and his family, who are nearly as ugly and annoying as the aliens from Mac and Me? Hilary Shepherd Turner does alright as the new villain Divatox, a manic pirate queen with a fetish for lava demons, but even she and a brief heel turn from former Rangers Jason and Kimberly can’t right this dead ship. After all, when a director named David Winning bales on your film, you know you’re sending a loser to the box office. While this film is pretty bad, at least it’s hilariously bad.

Download mp3 – Episode 22: Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie

Since we didn’t get enough of an action fix from this week’s supposed action movie, we’re jumping back to 1987 for the action film Steele Justice. A shell-shocked Vietnam vet who’s failed as a cop and at every other job he’s attempted since returning home is compelled back into the trenches to finish the job he started back in ‘Nam when his friend is murdered by the Vietnamese mafia who, of course, are all former Viet Cong soldiers they had fought against back in the day. Sounds like plenty of unintentional comedy and racism will ensue. Enjoy!

Remember almost every movie we watch is available for streaming on Netflix or YouTube!

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Episode 17: Bloody Birthday

BloodyBirthday1__spanBecause we couldn’t stay away from 1981, we’ve come back for The Pit’s heterosexual life partner, Bloody Birthday. Apparently we can add eclipses/weird planetary alignments to the ginger gene as causes for people to be born without souls. Diabolical Debbie, Creeper Curtis and Superfluous Steve cut a bloody swath through anybody in town who dares to cross them, get in their way or try to have sex. That’s right, nothing seems to steam the Cockblock Kids more than the sexual antics of their town’s teen population. Beverly’s awesome feather boa strip tease? UNACCEPTABLE!!! This is what happens when hate gets out of control – kids start ball busting and cockblocking as early as 10, nobody gets laid and even more psycho slashers are born as a result.

Download mp3 – Episode 17: Bloody Birthday

Next week we decided to stick with the murderous family theme with 1995’s The Granny. When her greedy family decides they want her gone so they can get her money, Anastasia “Granny” Gargoli returns from the dead to murder them all in hilarious fashion. Apparently this film has a reputation for being “so bad it’s good” like Troll 2, so we’re expecting good things. You can check out the trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kB9qTpTGp1A Since this fine film never got a DVD release and is not currently available on any legitimate streaming sites, the only option is to watch it on Youtube. Some kind soul posted it in six parts with the first part available here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Igg6EmsVOlM If for some reason you need to do a search for it, search “The Granny 1995”.

Remember almost every movie we watch is available for streaming on Netflix or YouTube! (Except this week’s is on Amazon Instant)

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Episode 13: FDR: American Badass

fdr_americanbadassWhat has two wheels and kills werewolves? We’ll give you three guesses. This week we were finally able to see a movie that we had been eagerly anticipating for nearly a year, and Ross Patterson’s FDR: American Badass did not disappoint. Get ready for Nazi werewolves, tasteless polio jokes and the Southern charm of Georgian Congressman Cleavon Buford. Oh, and titties! The pure ridiculousness of this movie had us dying the entire time; this is one of our new favorites, up there with Troll 2 and Mac and Me. We don’t want to spoil this wonderful movie any further, so please watch it before listening, but one thing’s for sure: you’ll never look at raw hot dogs the same way again.

Download mp3 – Episode 13: FDR: American Badass

Next week we’ll be watching 1996’s Crossworlds, starring Rutger Hauer, Jack Black and Sports Night’s Josh Charles. Hijinks ensue when a college student gets a pendant that opens a portal to another dimension, and according to Wiki, he and his girlfriend turn to “retired adventurer” Rutger Hauer. If this movie has even half of the facepalm moments of Hauer’s previous film, The Hitcher, we should all be laughing our asses off. Check out the trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IENs1gylgk

Remember almost every movie we watch is available for streaming on Netflix or YouTube!

Subscribe Via iTunes

Have a suggestion for a movie? Have thoughts on the movie of the week or past movie? Go to our Contact Us page for our e-mail, Twitter, & Facebook.

Theme provided by Jonathan Mann.