Grab an assault rifle and a grenade launcher, because we’re going back to school – WAY back to 1990’s dystopian mayhem-fest, Class of 1999! We love these dark future stories with no basis in reality. By 1999, school violence has risen so dramatically all across the country that the police have completely ceded the areas around schools to the gangs, but somehow still have the power to force gangbangers more heavily armed than a terrorist cell to go to class. Into this environment returns former gang member Cody Culp, who is paroled from his prison sentence for sniffing Leggos on the condition that he goes to class. Unfortunately for Cody and his Black Hearted buddies, the Department of Educational Defense just started using his school as the lab for its new “Tactical Education Units,” or Terminators-turned-teachers. Principal Malcolm McDowell leaves control of Pam Grier and her cyborg colleagues up to Stacy Keach’s mad scientist character Dr. Forest, because who WOULDN’T trust a man with dead eyes and a white mullet who thinks it’s “fascinating” when the teachers start murdering students for minor infractions? After Cody suffers a huge personal loss, he forms an alliance with both the school’s gangs with the rallying cry of, “Let’s waste some teachers!” The take-home message here? “Stay in gangs, kids!” (That or, “Don’t get your balls burned off!”)
Next week, Corey will be joined by friends of the podcast Gina and Ryan as we go back to Netflix for our listener request and recent release, 2013’s Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan! Prissy twenty-somethings at a prison bootcamp inadvertently desecrate the grave of Babe, the Big Blue Ox, causing a giant undead Paul Bunyan to come swinging his giant axe at their heads. This one should give Sharknado a run for its money. All aboard Sgt. Hoke’s happy short bus!
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