Deep in the jungles of Borneo, an ancient evil alien/dinosaur/Predator has been resurrected by a mad scientist, and it’s out for… cerebro-spinal fluid! Or something! This week we’ve paddled our way back down the River of Time to catch Mark Dacascos in 1997’s chimerical ripoff horror movie, DNA! Ash is an American doctor working in Borneo out of the kindness of his heart, until the evil Dr. Wessinger tricks him into helping him find a beetle that will make his cloned dinosaur killing machine nearly invincible. To atone for his mistake, Ash teams up with a pathetic CIA operative who advertises her job on her luggage and snaps pics for Instagram the whole movie. Once into the jungle, they spend more time fighting Wessinger’s goons than the creature, and end up resorting to a Nerf missile launcher to take down the killer in one of worst finishing moves we’ve seen in years. And even though a kid dies, Ash and Claire kinda sorta end up in love. Or something. The end.
We’ll see you all back here next week at High Noon. At Mega Mountain. With the Three Ninjas. And Hulk Hogan. Back in 1998. Thrill as The Hulkster drops the Big Leg on a semi-popular kids movie franchise, just before he did the same to WCW! This one’s not available on Netflix, so you’ll have to dig around a bit to find it. Probably in the dumpster of your local Suncoast. Which probably doesn’t even exist anymore. But yeah. Three Ninjas!
Remember every movie we watch is available for streaming on Netflix or YouTube! [Unless we say otherwise]
Have a suggestion for a movie? Have thoughts on the movie of the week or past movie? Go to our Contact Us page for our e-mail, Twitter, & Facebook.
Theme provided by Jonathan Mann.