Here comes the devil and four black stallions on my ass! This week we’ve slipped back to 1982 to check Scott Baio’s screwball Carrie-inspired comedy, Zapped! Before Charles got put in charge, Baio and Willie Aames starred in this precursor to Chronicle, about geeky teen Barney who gets telekinetic powers and flips out, using them to strip the whole town naked. Poor Barney. He can’t get a girl to save his soul, while his best buddy Peyton is swooping chicks from douchebag bros AND banging one of their teachers. Meanwhile his apathetic alcoholic father and cartoon-voiced mother scorn his scientific research and think he’s on drugs because he’s not getting laid, and the ball-busting school newspaper reporter who thinks she’s Nancy Grace is stalking his life like none other. It’s a good thing Barney’s Ultra-Grow formula, when mixed with cannabis extract and whiskey, creates an explosion that imbues its victim with telekinesis (and other inexplicable powers…) Armed with these new abilities, Barney gets to work getting rape-y, ripping open blouses, flipping up skirts and not taking “NO” for an answer. Peyton tries to woo Barney to the gray side by only using his powers to cheat at gambling to make themselves rich, but after a crisis of conscience, Barney decides the “right” thing to do is just go apeshit and strip everybody at their senior prom instead. And then he and his bitchy girlfriend fly away. Somehow. Also, we apologize for the lower quality audio in this episode; a technical error on our end that won’t be repeated. I blame Scott Baio.
Since we’ve fallen completely in love with the 80s, next week we’re stopping by 1987 to watch Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello’s tongue-in-cheek beach party romp, Back to the Beach. After leaving the beach behind and getting boring from their family life in Ohio, the infamous pair drag their punk kid son with them to California and get caught up in the usual beach party movie drama, only with a sense of humor about itself, and Pee Wee Herman, too! Sadly, this movie is not on Netflix or Youtube for free, but can be bought on Amazon and Youtube for $10. Sorry, we’ll try not to make these type of selections a habit.
Remember every movie we watch is available for streaming on Netflix or YouTube! [Unless we say otherwise]
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