Well, look what the rat puked up! Our teen/young adult nostalgia for WCW takes almost as many shots to the nuts as are delivered in this week’s pick, 2000’s comedy “classic,” Ready To Rumble! Gordie and Sean are two twenty-something losers who escape the drudgery of their job pumping port-a-potties by living vicariously through fictional wrestler Jimmy King. When their tickets to WCW’s “Monday Night Nitro” buy them a front row seat to the King’s dethroning, our boys take to cross-country hitchhiking and cyber-stalking to find their fallen idol and force him back into title contention against Diamond Dallas Page and scumbag promoter Joe Pantoliano. While this movie prominently advertised many popular WCW wrestlers, there’s little actual wrestling to be seen amidst the sub-American Pie toilet humor. Any WCW nostalgia nuts will do better to look for their fix elsewhere, but Gordie, Sean and the King’s antics are entertaining in their own way. After all, you gotta love a guy who slams his girl by actually (body) slamming her, and the camera tricks used to hide Scott Caan’s tiny-sized head are truly phenomenal. You might have trouble understanding why anybody would ever root for a terrible character like Jimmy King, but at least he’s a better champion than David Arquette. Or Chucky. Of the farting nuns, who probably would’ve won the title had WCW dragged on much longer.
Next week we’re going back to 1996 for the zenith of Pamela Anderson’s career: the sci-fi action masterpiece Barb Wire. Based on a Dark Horse comic book, and apparently the film classic Casablanca, this dystopian diversion is sure to please. When the new totalitarian US government sets its sights on conquering Steel Harbor, her home and the last free city in the country, it’s up to mercenary/secret agent/prostitute Barb Wire to smuggle out freedom fighters and stop the impending invasion. The future of democracy is in Pamela Anderson’s hands. In boobs we trust.
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