We’re warping back to 1997 with Lerigot’s magical key to fight alongside the Power Rangers in their second big screen adventure, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie. Joining us this week is our old podcasting partner in crime, Dino Punk Nicky Tyranno. This film was a disappointment to anyone with half a brain cell, as Power Rangers’ writers decided to take everything that worked in the first film and flush it down the toilet to give us the most watered-down, pussified non-violent movie about violent superheroes ever. Want to see something awesome like the Oozemen fight? Well fuck you, because instead we get Tommy wrestling with a snake, the Rangers driving boring cars across an empty desert, a ghost ship that isn’t scary and the worst new Ranger ever – little Justin Stewart! When Blue Ranger Rocky suffers a miraculous back injury, Earth’s intergalactic Joseph Kony Zordon decides it’s time to conscript a 12 year old into his millennia-long war. Justin proceeds to ruin everything, acting like a dipshit fanboy that thinks it’s all a game, but why shouldn’t he, when the Rangers are tasked with rescuing “interdimensional wizard” Lerigot and his family, who are nearly as ugly and annoying as the aliens from Mac and Me? Hilary Shepherd Turner does alright as the new villain Divatox, a manic pirate queen with a fetish for lava demons, but even she and a brief heel turn from former Rangers Jason and Kimberly can’t right this dead ship. After all, when a director named David Winning bales on your film, you know you’re sending a loser to the box office. While this film is pretty bad, at least it’s hilariously bad.
Since we didn’t get enough of an action fix from this week’s supposed action movie, we’re jumping back to 1987 for the action film Steele Justice. A shell-shocked Vietnam vet who’s failed as a cop and at every other job he’s attempted since returning home is compelled back into the trenches to finish the job he started back in ‘Nam when his friend is murdered by the Vietnamese mafia who, of course, are all former Viet Cong soldiers they had fought against back in the day. Sounds like plenty of unintentional comedy and racism will ensue. Enjoy!
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