Is YOUR marriage fireproof? We hope not, because we’d hate for anyone to have a relationship as dysfunctional and antagonistic as Kirk Cameron and Erin Bethea have in this Christian melodrama. This week we’re tackling 2008’s Fireproof, an indie morality tale that shows that you don’t have to have good acting, chemistry or a compelling romance to clean up at the box office – as long as you have a religious “message” to preach to the choir. Caleb is a firefighter with anger issues who loves boats and porn (possibly together); Catherine is a hospital worker with a taste for senseless materialism and hick doctors. When their marriage hits a wall, Caleb decides to try to save it by forgoing counseling and communication in favor of some folksy advice from his dad based loosely on the Bible. 43 days and a contrived conversion later, Caleb realizes that the secret for men to make marriage last is abandoning all of your passions and hobbies for an obsessive and myopic focus on your wife, who you must always cater and capitulate to. With all their problems buried and glossed over rather than dealt with, Caleb and Catherine renew their vows and live “happily after ever” – at least until their inevitable meltdown.
Next week we’ve decided to keep rolling with the didactic melodrama with the granddaddy of awful TV movies, 1985’s The Rape of Richard Beck. This Emmy Award-winning cheese fest is also known by the titles Deadly Justice, Violated and The Broken Badge. Rambo’s Richard Crenna plays a dime store Dirty Harry who believes rape victims “bring it on themselves” – until he has his colon conquered by two of the rapists he was supposed to collar. This gem is available in full on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lo8dW3Uj-QE Though we’ve been burned before, we just had to chance it after seeing this godawful trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bROPR9APwzs
Remember almost every movie we watch is available for streaming on Netflix or YouTube!
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