This episode is brought to you by Cyagra™ – giving you that porn size & endurance you yearn for! This week we take a ride in a van with a stranger with 2012’s Creep Van, and the results are surprisingly okay. After failing as a male gigolo and a pizza delivery guy, happy-go-lucky loser Campbell gets a job at a car wash and tries to game his coworker Amy, who may or may not be a ball-busting bitch. When all his new endeavors are thwarted by not having his own ride, Campbell tries to buy a shitty van from a mysterious Creep who did not at all need to be mysterious. This dime store Jigsaw wastes no time in racking up a decent, gory body count with his murderous vehicle while Campbell deals with hippy/Ted Nugent enthusiast Swami Ted, his pothead peon coworkers and his sexual deviant roommates who somehow fuck in a tiny doghouse. Wearing luchador masks. In fine B Movie tradition, the ending leaves more questions than it answers, but then some things we’re better off not knowing. Don’t look in that dog house – you’ll shit your robe, man.
Next week’s selection will likely either be the best or the worst choice we’ve ever made when we watch 2008’s Fireproof. Fallen 80s star and Christian fundamentalist Kirk Cameron stars as a firefighter whose marriage is falling apart because he *gasp!* watches porn and doesn’t read the Bible. When his father makes him read the “Good Book” Kirk’s life begins a miraculous transformation and he shifts from taking the frustrations of his job out on his wife to regularly flipping his shit and beating the hell out of his garbage cans. Love it or hate it, this is 2 hours of our lives that we’ll never get back. Join us, won’t you?
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